Much was made of Michael Phelps being provoked by a rival swimmer, leading to some patriotically consumable ‘Don’t poke the bear’ gifs and tweets.  

Here’s a guy who’s not only won 22 golds and counting, but he’s done so over FOUR olympic games.  What does your body still do as well today as it did thirteen years ago? The discipline necessary to achieve what he’s achieving in his thirties suggests that he’s, umm, self-motivated. Are we to believe he was on the cusp of calling in sick that night until the motivation finally struck him in the form of a dude named Chad shadowboxing?

I’ve heard of not swimming till 30 minutes from your last meal.  This guy swims in an olympic event just one half hour after an olympic event. During the last 50 meters of that second race, he improbably goes from 8th place to 2nd.

So what was his motivation this time? Did a guy named Zayne do the cabbage patch in his face?  Did other swimmers block the locker room exit by doing the charleston?

I heard he haaates that.

History helps us infer Phelps doesn’t crave daily affirmation.  So does his physical appearance at age 31.  He’s at the pool well before the line forms at Donut Drive-In.

If your opponent determine your athletic output, you’re no bear at all.


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